I don’t know where I am, but I know I’m not lost

Looking at the date of my last blog post makes me sad. I can’t believe I just put down my pen and walked away for three long years.

I was hiking (by myself) last week, and realized that I had no idea where I was. I looked around, found the trail markers, and just kept putting one foot in front of the other until I got someplace familiar. I might not have known where I was, but I knew I wasn’t lost. That seemed like a very real description for my life right now.

Not long after that last blog post, I had a pretty significant injury that derailed running or even walking for a bit. Every time I thought I was better and ready to hit it again, that injury, or a related one hit me again. And, I’ll admit, it kind of sent me into a spiral. Couple no exercise with a busy (and sometimes stressful) life, and it’s not long before anxiety and depression come riding up on their infernal black clouds. And set up camp.

Needless to say, those black clouds brought on weight gain and lethargy, which made getting back to daily exercise seem like a hill I couldn’t climb. No movement and iffy nutrition led to thirty pounds and a Type 2 diabetic diagnosis.

2019 has been about taking back my life. Ten months in, but I finally feel like I’m making progress.I’m eating well, moving regularly, and taking care of my mental health again. Baby steps, but in the right direction. My A1C has dropped to a normal level, and my energy is back up and motivating me to move.

Regaining my mental health rests not just in the movement of my feet, but in picking that proverbial pen back up and writing again. I probably won’t be sharing this to my other social media feeds for a while, but I might after I’ve dusted off my computer and worked some of the soreness out of my writing muscles. We’ll see how it goes. This feels very raw to me, and not something I normally share, but it also feels necessary.

I don’t know where I’m headed, but I’m definitely on the right road. I hope running again lies in the not too distant future, but I’ll take walking and hiking right now. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am Here now and to be present in this moment. There’s a lot to be learned Here, and it’s time I started paying attention.

Always an adventure

I love to travel, so I do it a lot. Mostly with my man, who has inspired wanderlust in me for almost 36 years. He plans the best trips, takes me out of my comfort zone, gives me confidence, and helps me dial back the travel anxiety that airports give me these days. Well, for the most part he dials it back. When he can’t dial it back, he gets me a glass of wine. Or two. That does the trick.  

I have lots of places still on my bucket list, but I have two favorites that draw me to them like magnets. Whenever my man gets that travel bug spark in his eye and starts planning a trip, he doesn’t even have to ask me if or when I want to go to either of these two places. He just plans the trip and tells me the dates.  

 New York City is the place I love to go to, spend 3 or 4 nights, see shows, do a run-about (or three) around the city, and wander around museums until my man is bored to grouchiness. Then, I love to go home. Big cities are a great place to visit, but I don’t think people would like me very much if I lived in one.  

Hawaii’s Big Island, on the other hand, is a place I could stay forever. The first time we came here, I got off the plane and into the rental car, and felt like I’d come home. It’s the only place on earth I would ever consider living off the grid, and that says a lot for a gal who really likes her hour long hot baths.  

Sunset on the first day

Tonight, as I sit enjoying the sunset from my balcony with a glass of wine, I feel more at home than ever. After a 9 1/2 mile hike to see the lava flowing into the ocean today, I’m exhausted, every muscle and joint in my body hates me, I have a blister forming on my pinkie toe that doesn’t bode well for the toe nail that resides there, and my sunburn is making me a true redneck, but I can’t wait to do it all over again tomorrow. 

Tomorrow’s adventure is under the sea.  

Even better.  

He loves living life on the edge
Lava making land. I’m not ashamed to say this sight brought me to tears


In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters.  And the spirit of God was hovering over the deep waters.  Genesis 1:1-2

Kona

The view from the plane the day we arrived.

The view from the plane the day we arrived.

We’re at the end of a magical two weeks in Hawaii, and I’m trying to think of ways we can move here. We came to Kona the first time in 2010, to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary, and we fell in love with this place. So, when my man asked me a few weeks ago if I would like to come back, I started packing immediately. We booked a last minute trip, and, I’ll be honest, I don’t want to go home. We’ve traveled a lot over the years, and been to some magical places, but this is the one I would call home if I could. I truly love it here.

Of course, at this point in my life, that’s not possible, so I’ll use this post as a tribute to the island, and just try not to think of how much I want to stay.

First off, to Kerry and staff at Kona Dive Co, job well done. Love you guys! We dove with you back in 2010, and Gary and I both marveled at how every dive still feels fresh and new under your guidance. I know you dive the same spots week after week, but you seem to absolutely love what you do, and that makes every dive guest feel like you designed that particular dive for them individually. Thanks so much for our time on the water! My underwater camera decided to sit this trip out, but I think that made my dives even better. It allowed me the opportunity to savor each one, and drink in the entire experience. While we didn’t see the things we saw last trip (at a different time of year), we had amazing dives filled with beauty and peace. Eagle rays, turtles, eels (including the beautiful dragon eel – thanks, David!), pompom crabs, and too many other things to enumerate here. Thanks, guys, hope to see you all again soon.

What makes Kona special to us is the topside experience we have in addition to the diving. As much as we love to dive, we love hiking and seeing all the area has to offer. That’s one of the reasons we love Kona so much. The diving is spectacular, and the island itself is like a beautiful puzzle we unlock one step at a time. This trip we enjoyed the Kohala coast, the southern district of Ku’a, the Honaunau Coast, the exquisite Mauna Kea sunrise, and, of course, the beautiful volcano, Kilauea. We used the website bigislandhikes.com almost exclusively for our hiking guide. We also asked the locals (Kona Dive) for their recommendations.

Enough words. Here are some of my favorite iPhone pics from our trip. We don’t fly out until tomorrow night, so I reserve the right to add another post later if we see something amazing tomorrow.

Mauna Loa from the dive boat

Mauna Loa from the dive boat

Honokohau Harbor hike

Honokohau Harbor hike

Akaka Falls. Hint: don't go on Wednesday, cruise ship day in Hilo

Akaka Falls. Hint: don’t go on Wednesday, cruise ship day in Hilo

Sunset from our condo

Sunset from our condo

Trying to stay warm on Mauna Kea

Trying to stay warm on Mauna Kea

Above the clouds, Mauna Kea at Sunrise

Above the clouds, Mauna Kea at Sunrise

Petroglyphs at Kilauea

Petroglyphs at Kilauea

The arches at Kilauea

The arches at Kilauea

The steep climp to Pololu Valley

The steep climp to Pololu Valley

Waipio Valley

Waipio Valley

Pololu Valley

Pololu Valley

Pololu Valley

Pololu Valley

Honaunau coast

Honaunau coast

 

So much left unseen. Until next time, beautiful Big Island…

The real reason I run

We finally arrived at our first destination, rump sprung (a word I learned from my Daddy) and a little on the snarky side with each other. But, we’re here.  In the Badlands.  Two and a half very long days of travel had us ready for some movement. We got checked in to our lodging, then immediately changed into our running clothes. After over a week of no running, then 20 odd hours of confinement, putting on my running gear felt as good as coffee with an old friend.

After some discussion, we decided we would do some of the hikes the Badlands National Park offers, rather than run along the narrow, fairly heavily trafficked road. We only have tonight here, so we wanted to see as much as possible.  Maps, water, cameras, and we were off. We decided on Notch trail, it offered about a 3 mile round trip, and we knew we would head off some side journeys. It’s late, and we have a really early morning tomorrow, so I won’t bore you with all the details. It was an awesome hike, we saw deer, birds nesting in the rock face, very playful chipmunks (we disturbed one who was having a mud bath), bats, and lots of flora and fauna. The trail was labeled as moderate to strenuous, but it wasn’t too bad. At least until we veered off it in search of a great sunset shot. The rock face was fairly sheer, the footing was precarious and slippery, and turns out, my hiking shoes are a half size too small. Anyway, there was no major incident, only one small slip, although, I’ll admit sitting on the top of the rock, I was not my usual calm, unruffled self. I may have even been a little on the other side of snarky by then. Gary took it in stride though, even though I wouldn’t have blamed him had he tossed me over & claimed I fell. It sounds like something that I would do, particularly if you’ve ever seen me hike up a sheer rock face lined with gravel. Regardless, the sunset was magnificent (as Gary promised it would be) and we made it down the mountain.

This is the real reason that I run. I do love running for so many reasons, but when it comes down to brass tacks, I want to be able to live life. To look at a sheer rock face and think, that may be daunting, but I know I can do it. The Jayne of four years ago could never have done what I did today. And, that’s reason enough for me.

Enjoy the images. These are my IPhone pics, we have a really long day tomorrow, so I’ll have to share the others later.