I’m a person who tries to focus on the positive. My life is good, my glass is half full, every cloud has a silver lining, and the grass is greener on my side of the fence. I see good in everyone, and I generally give people the benefit of the doubt.
For some reason, though, 2013 found me walking around with that nasty, proverbial cloud following me. No silver lining, just a dark, ugly cloud. I often let anxiety take control of my emotions, and forgot to release my worries to God a lot more than I care to admit. I think I achieved full hermit status – staying at home, working alone, going to bed by 8 and sleeping in, hiding behind my computer and not reaching out to anyone. I intend to change that this year.
I’ve set some goals for this year – write something every single day, run a spring and a fall half marathon, lose this pesky weight, give my liver some breathing room by cutting my wine intake, reconnect with old friends, and make new friends. I’m excited and terrified all at once.
How do you even go about making friends at 52? I want some friends who share my interests. As much as I love my old friends and as much fun as we have together, not many of them are runners, and few seem to be readers, either. I want to join (or start) a book club, and find some women my age who enjoy running so we can encourage and motivate each other.
It amuses me that so many of the women who share my interests are either the “crunchy granola”, super nerdy, or over the top competitive types. Hmmm… maybe I’m not as cool as I thought, and maybe I’m more competitive than I realized. Food for thought…
Another goal I’ve set is to read more and watch TV/mindlessly browse social media less. Not batting a thousand on this one yet, but I’m better than I was, so I consider that a small victory. I have so many books on my “to read” list that I’ll never get them all read if that insidious box (my TV) doesn’t stop squawking constantly. Lately, I’ve enjoyed sitting beside my man late into the night (at least 9 pm), reading while he watches XYZ on the tube. Yes, I’m trying to push past 9 pm, I realize how completely lame that hour is.
Baby steps, people, baby steps.