Doubt

It feels like every post I’ve done over the last few weeks has been about motivation or inspiration. Can you tell I’m struggling this summer? Not so much with the heat, but with the whimsy of a 51 year old body that has threatened revolt every time I’ve revved my training back up. First, with a back injury, followed by several weeks of intensive chiropractic/stretching/no running. I began to ease back into my mileage, adding more cycling days, and had a really great week a couple of weeks ago.

Gary always tends to the tires on our bikes before we ride, and I think, before that ride, he put wings on my tires. I hit speeds of 23 mph, with an average speed of 18-19 mph. For me, that’s flying. I almost handed him his helmet on that ride, but being a man, he couldn’t stand to see me win, so he kicked it up a notch and passed me in the last 5 yards. Whatever. At least I made him work for it.  Anyway, loved that ride, and began to think that I might actually be coordinated brave enough to try clipping in on my bike on the next ride. Ran well that weekend and looked forward to the week ahead.

Which brings us to last week. We got up on Monday morning to ride, (as we were headed out of town later that week to see the Braves play), and I could not get it together. Gary flew off, and I pedaled through quicksand for 13 tortuous miles. I had gotten too much sun that weekend at a fun girl’s day at my sister’s pool, so I blamed it on that. However, later that day, the unmistakeable sign of a urinary tract infection began rearing its ugly head. By Tuesday morning, it was full fledged. A day of torture, including an extended doctor’s visit, then, finally, blissful medication ensued. I’ve had at least one UTI per year for the last 30+ years, but this one hit me pretty hard. I enjoyed our trip to Atlanta, but really didn’t feel up to par. Is this what it means to be over 50? Getting older is not for the faint of heart, is it? Sigh.

Needless to say, there was no running or cycling last week. I finally felt better by Sunday and set my alarm for an early run. I’ve slapped the snooze button, then the OFF button,  for three days straight, and still haven’t made it out the door. Gary and I have plans to get up tomorrow for an early ride, no excuses. We’ve both got to get moving again.

I don’t mind admitting to you that last week brought with it the first doubt I’ve felt in a long, long time. Am I too old to try to add mileage and be faster? Have I had my day in the sun? I haven’t even broken a 9:30 mile yet.  Am I ever going to at this point? It seems like every time my heart and head point me towards a goal, my body says, “Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks.”

Okay, if you have been following my blog for any length of time, or if you know me, you know that “can’t” isn’t in my wheelhouse. I used a great quote in a recent post, “Doubt isn’t the opposite of faith, it’s an element of it.”

Without doubt, how would we know what faith looks or feels like? If I depend on my strength to get through this tough time, I’m doomed to failure. But, I know the Man. I know the One who can. The One who gives me strength to accomplish all He has set out for me to do. So, I’m leaning on Him. I’m remembering His promises. I’m claiming them for my own. Today and everyday.
BelieveSheCould

Let’s Do This.

23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23

I would love whatever encouraging voices you can lift.  We’re all in this together, and I need your encouragement now, more than ever.

 

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6 thoughts on “Doubt

  1. msamyl says:

    I’ve recently had so many of the same struggles, and it’s quite comforting to know I’m not alone. My encouragement for you is the same encouragement you had for “me” or us, the readers. Find something you love on every run, you love Starbucks? Park 5 miles away. Okay, not literally but you get where this is headed. I think your suggestion was to take a picture of something beautiful… That’s great, but park me five miles from Bop’s and offer me ice cream and I’m in! Hell I’ll drag you there if need be! Lmbo!
    You are stong, encouraging, and accomplished! You’re only a decision away from turning this around… Time to make a decision. Simple. Complicated. Decision. I am so inspired by you and I have complete faith that you can get anywhere you want to be!
    Love you to the moon, -Amanda

    • jaynerich says:

      Thanks, Amanda!! We got up this morning & my bike had a flat, so it was a bust. But, I have a plan for the rest of the month & I’m finally looking forward to my runs again. It’s a constant struggle, but, as you know, it’s one worth making. I love you!!

  2. This post feels like one of them one’s where you re-read it the next day and see that you have all that you need in order to make the decision. My times of doubt lead me straight back to ‘No, He’s Sooooo here with us all…As for the decision, if it’s not the day to make it, you might be feeling torn, as is the case for all decisions. I would say, pray for clarity and a sign for when the moment is right, and when he sends them, if your gut says yes too, that’d be a good time. I dont know what you have to decide, but I take note of indecision too…believing that the tension between the 2, brings the right moment…I hope your OK…Love Dawny Xxx

  3. soldyourway says:

    I love your blog! Thanks for verbalizing what I feel a lot. I’m 61 so I think I have about 10 years on you. Like you I thank God every day that I run, that I have the ability to run. I’m coming off a total knee replacement and and infection of the knee joint. I’m up to 6 miles a day 4 days a week and my goal is a Marathon in Nov 2014. I don’t give myself the option of not running on a running day, I just do it. I cross train on 2 of my off days on an elliptical for an hour. I don’t use my arms as I’ve messed up my shoulder muscles on the elliptical machine over the years. Muscle impingement. or frozen muscles. Getting old is a drag except it gets us closer to the reward of heaven. Its easier for me to make myself get up and get out running than not. Partially because I am not comfortable in bed after I wake up with the alarm. I’m also down 60 pounds and I don’t want to put it back on.
    God Bless you, thanks for blogging,

    Brent

    • jaynerich says:

      Thank, Brent!! Your story is very inspiring and encouraging to me, especially right now in the midst of the struggle. Thanks for sharing! And, congratulations on the weight loss!!

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